My Trouble with THE Ministry

It has been a while since my last post and I'm not exactly sure why.  I have had several things to write about. Each time I thought about putting something on this on-line journal I just couldn't do it.  Looking back now, I think it is possible that I was prevented from sharing my thoughts on some topics about life and ministry because I didn't know what was going to unfold in the coming weeks and months.

In my pursuit for full-time employment I have looked a lot at church ministries.  What many who are ministers would call "the ministry".  I love being in a position that allows me to concentrate fully on spiritual matters.  However, there are many troubles that I faced as a minister.  This might sound crazy, but my biggest problem in ministry was that I didn't minister to many people who didn't have Jesus in their lives.  As a Singles Minister I was wrapped in the lives (spiritual and social) of those in my specific ministry.  I tried to involve our Lighthouse Ministry in projects that would put us in the lives of the hurting and broken - those who are living in the shadows away from God.  Nothing ever seemed to work consistently for that good purpose though.

This time last year I was concluding a study written by Bill Hybels called "Just Walk Across the Room".  I had done this study before, but it was good to be refreshed in it and to encourage others with the theme of being intentional about your relationships and telling people about Jesus.  As I led this study and thought and prayed about being more intentional about relationships for Jesus I thought about how I wasn't doing that in my job as a minister.  I thought about how I could do better.  I thought about how I could do much better at "walking across the room" in a secular job.  In my opinion, it is easier to talk to people about Jesus if they don't know that you are a minister.  Once they learn of your profession, many times the walls go up!

Last summer I started to think about getting back into education.  I prayed that God would put me in a position where I would be able to tell more not-yet Christians about His son.  He didn't open that door.  In fact, the door for a return to education seemed firmly shut!  As time went on I continued to minister at the Saturn Road church, but didn't feel I was doing what I needed to be doing.  I continued to struggle with the feeling that I wasn't ministering to the people who were without a relationship with Jesus.

In addition to these thoughts I was having about my place in ministry I struggled with spiritual attacks.  Honestly, I felt under attack for two of the two and a half years that I ministered at Saturn Road.  That was a real problem I had with "the ministry".  Unfortunately, not all the people you minister to will respect you or want you.  The harsh reality is there are people in church who play games that are ugly and hurtful.  I am not cynical, but I do have wounds that are still healing.  Ministry is hard and many folks don't take the time to look past the surface of a minister's life to see what they might be dealing with.  I have perceived changes in church life, ministry, leadership and direction that make me wonder where "the ministry" might be headed.  Frankly, I'm worried.

Remember, I did say that I enjoyed being in a position that allowed my to concentrate fully on spiritual matters.  There are some great things about ministry.  It is those things that have had me looking for a position with a church or para-church organization for the last 4 months.  I want to serve and bless others.  During this search, however, I haven't looked at any secular positions.  I haven't had any thought about what I could do or where I might start.

A few weeks ago a friend reached out to me.  He wanted to take me to lunch, encourage me and visit a little about his business and how the Lord has used it to bless him.  My first thought was, "that's nice, but I don't want to do that."  I had tunnel vision.  I was focused only on getting back into "the ministry".  After a couple of weeks I thought more about his invitation.  I decided to get together with him just to see what he had to say.  Let me say that it went well and I could tell that it was orchestrated by the Lord.  I'm not exactly sure how well yet, but I am excited.  I was reminded of my prayers to God about reaching those who don't know Jesus through a secular career.  I feel that God might be providing something and I am able to watch it unfold.  It doesn't happen often that we can see it happening when He is blessing us.  Many times we look back months or years later and say "Ohhhh!  Now I see!"

My trouble with "the ministry" is that when you are in it you can easily feel like it is the only way to reach the lost.  Dan Bouchelle recently had Jonathan Storment write on his blog.  The post was very honest and thought provoking.  It talks a lot about why Jonathan loves to preach, but goes to the essence of secular ministry.  Working in and for a church family is not the only ministry.  I pray that if you are a doctor, teacher, real estate agent, grocery store clerk, or restaurant employee that you would see your job... your career as a ministry.

Christians Lack Urgency

In the time I have been away from full-time ministry (nearly 2.5 months) I have been able to wander in self-reflection.  I have thought some about what I would have done differently as the Singles Minister at Saturn Road.  I have thought a lot about what I will do next, or better stated, what the Lord would have me do next.  I have thought about Jesus, his life, and his ministry.  I have thought about his words and how he said them.  Where was the inflection?  Why did he say that?

I have thought about discipleship.  In my last post I shared from my personal journal that I don't feel that I am currently making any disciples.  That disappoints me.  I could come up with all kinds of excuses for this but honestly, I don't think that I would want to give any of them to Jesus if he asked.  So, what's the deal?  Why don't I take the time to develop relationships with non-Christians that might one day be Christ followers?  Why don't I share the Gospel story to someone... anyone?  Maybe I have lacked urgency.  Maybe Christians in general lack urgency.

I have picked up a book (again) called Transforming Discipleship by Greg Ogden.  I am just at the beginning, but I am in it.  It reminds me a lot of good relational/discipleship stuff that I have read before by Bill Hybels, Wolfgang Peterson, Alan Hirsch and others.  This book is shedding some light on some areas that I have not been concentrating on in my spiritual walk lately.  I like to think that I take Christ seriously.  I think that I take his commission to his followers to "make disciples of all nations" seriously.  I have made disciples and I have made them in other countries.  However, I am not currently engaged in a discussion with a not-yet Christian about Jesus and that bothers me.

One statistic that Ogden throws out there for the reader revolves around a lack of urgency in sharing the "good news" and making disciples.  He states "that it takes 100 members of a congregation to win 1.67 people to Christ in a given year."  Wow.  That is a crippling statistic.  That breaks my heart.  Christians today don't just lack urgency, they are complacent.  They don't care enough.  They don't seem to view what they have as worthy.  They are scared.

What/where has this gotten us (Christians)?  Let me share something else that is in Ogden's book:

Only a generation ago, two Christian prophets, Francis Schaeffer and Elton Trueblood, predicted that we were one generation away from losing the memory of Christianity in our culture.  They both referred to America as a "cut-flower" society.  By that they meant that our culture has been severed from its Judeo-Christian roots and that we are living on the memory of faith.  They predicted that it would take just one more generation for this memory to fade.  We are that generation.  Preachers and teachers of the Word can no longer assume that mention of biblical figures like David and Goliath will instantly draw the story to people's memories.  No assumptions can be made about what people know or the beliefs they hold.

I hope this gets your attention!  I hope this is real to you!  I hope this makes you feel urgent about sharing Jesus with people who don't yet know him!

This kicks me in the gut because it is exactly what I have known and haven't been doing anything about.  This makes me pray for open doors of opportunity to make and build relationships... Kingdom relationships.  This makes me want to share on any level that might help someone... anyone know Jesus and his love.  This seriously makes me want to make disciples and help others make disciples.  

May God light a fire of urgency in his people to share Jesus in true, authentic, life-changing ways that can open the world up to the gates of heaven.   

Straight From My Journal: I want to be like Jesus

I am on a journey.  I pray.  I worship.  I think.  I thank.  I pray again.

I trust that the Lord knows "just what I need."  My heart is longing for a closer relationship, a more intimate relationship with the Creator.  As I study the Word and meditate and pray I am more and more convicted to live a life of sacrifice and discipleship.  What does that look like though?  How am I currently being sacrificial?  I'm not sure I am.  How am I making disciples of Jesus?  Right now... today... I'm not.  Where do I start?  I think I start by first reevaluating what it means to be like Jesus.  I have asked and answered this question before, but not really for myself - for my journey.  If I want to be like Jesus I need to love God, love my neighbor, and forgive my enemies.  I think if I focus on these things in my life everything else that really matters will fall into place.  Maybe that is too simplistic, but frankly, I like simplicity and I think I need more of it.

"Father, help me to be like your Son.  Help me to love you more, to love my neighbor and to demonstrate forgiveness in genuine and authentic ways.  Help me to walk with humility and integrity.  Help me to be thoughtful and wise.  Help me to listen.  Help me to be calm.  Help me to be your ambassador of love and mercy.  In Christ I pray.  Amen."

Fear: The Call to Fear God

Picking up where we left off yesterday, I would like to discuss the concept of our call to fear the Lord.  Do you fear God?  What do you think of when you think of God?  I have been challenged by Francis Chan to think of Revelation chapter 4 when I think of the Father.  Let's look at that passage of scripture starting in verse 1 and continuing to verse 8:

"Then as I looked, I saw a door standing open in heaven, and the same voice I had heard before spoke to me like a trumpet blast.  The voice said, "Come up here, and I will show you what must happen after this."  And instantly I was in the Spirit, and I saw a throne in heaven and someone sitting on it.  The one sitting on the throne was as brilliant as gemstones - like jasper and carnelian.  And the glow of an emerald circled his throne like a rainbow.  Twenty-four thrones surrounded him, and twenty-four elders sat on them.  They were all clothed in white and had gold crowns on their heads.  From the throne came flashes of lightening and the rumble of thunder.  And in front of the throne were seven torches with burning flames.  This is the sevenfold Spirit of God.  In front of the throne was a shiny sea of glass, sparkling like crystal.
In the center and around the throne were four living beings, each covered with eyes, front and back.  The first of these living beings was like a lion; the second was like an ox; the third had a human face; and the fourth was like an eagle in flight.  Each of these living beings had six wings, and their wings were covered all over with eyes, inside and out.  Day after day and night after night they keep on saying,
"Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God, the Almighty -
the one who always was, who is, and who is still to come."

Wow.  Imagine being the witness to such a site.  The awesomeness of the moment would take me away.  Do I stand?  Do I kneel?  Do I lay prostrate?  I don't know for sure, but I do know that I say over and over "holy, holy, holy is the Lord God, the Almighty - the one who always was, who is, and who is still to come."

That is a healthy fear.  That is respect and love and admiration.  Our fear of the Lord is tangled up in our love for him.  The fear that I spoke about yesterday does not know love.  In fact, 1 John 4:18 says, "Such love (the love of God) has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear.  If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love".  Again, wow.

If we take a close look at the Word we can see plainly the benefits of expressing or showing a healthy fear toward the Creator.  Throughout the Old Testament we have examples.  Here are just a few:

Psalm 2:11 "Serve the Lord with fear and celebrate his rule with trembling."
Psalm 25:12 "Who, then, are those who fear the Lord?  He will instruct them in the ways they should choose."
Psalm 25:14 "The Lord confides in those who fear him; he will make his covenant known to them."
Psalm 33:18 "But the eyes of the Lord are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love..."

Some things to think about:
Where do you put your fear?  In God?  In the world?
How do you view God?  Do you see him as he is - majestic and worthy of infinite worship?
What will you do with the lies of Satan that cause worldly fear?
Will you allow the Lord God to bless you through your call to fear, love and respect him?

Have a blessed day!

Fear: Origins

Fear is something that I find quite intriguing, and although I am no academic expert on the subject, I thought I would dabble in it for a couple of posts.

I first want to ask the question: where does fear come from?  What is its origin?  When do we first see fear in the Bible?  If we look early on at the life of Adam and Eve in the garden we see that they demonstrated fear by hiding from God after they had eaten the forbidden fruit (Genesis 3:10).  They had just sinned.  Where did the sin come from?  Satan.  Satan breeds fear.  Fear leads to lies, deceit, manipulation, and eventually death.

Have you ever bought into a lie spun by Satan (through someone else or even you) that led to fear?  I have.  I have often times labeled myself as inadequate, unworthy, or not smart enough because of the lies that Satan has planted in me. Some of these have come from other people and some of these have come from "the evil one".  So, how do we escape these lies?  How do we identify them as lies and look to truth?  What is the truth?  Well, I'm glad you asked!  Here is a passage of scripture that I love.  This has helped me stay focused on strength, truth, and power!

2 Timothy 1:3-12 says:

I thank God, whom I serve, as my ancestors did, with a clear conscience, as night and day I constantly remember you in my prayers.  Recalling your tears, I long to see you, so that I may be filled with joy.  I am reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also.  For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of hands.  For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.  So do not be ashamed of the testimony about our Lord or of me his prisoner.  Rather, join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God. He has saved us and called us to a holy life - not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace.  This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time, but it has now been revealed through the appearing of our Savior, Christ Jesus, who has destroyed death and has brought life and immortality to light through the gospel.  And of this gospel I was appointed a herald and an apostle and a teacher.  That is why I am suffering as I am.  Yet this is no cause for shame, because I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him until that day.

I especially love verse 7 here (bold, italicized).  We are empowered by the Spirit of God to fight fear!  We are not made to be timid!  The context of this passage is regarding the spreading of the Good News.  Paul is encouraging Timothy in his spiritual walk and is trying to help him look past the pressures of the world.  Satan is of the world, therefore, that is where we find lies.  You will not find that truth originates in the world.  Truth only comes from above.  So, in order to identify what is truth and what is lie we must ask ourselves where it is that our doubts, fears, and uncertainties come from.  You can look at this passage of scripture taken from 2 Timothy and ask yourself "what are some pressures (lies) that I take on that shake my faith?"  Identify the lies.  Look for and identify the truth that is exposed by the Spirit.  Praise God!

Fear does have a good side.  It aligns itself with respect.  The way a child should respect the love and authority of a parent.  We are called to fear the Lord!  I will address this concept in the next post.

Community

Have you ever thought about who belongs in your community?  What is that exactly?  Is community the people who live in the houses on your street?  Is it your church family?  Who plays a part in your community?  Well, I like to think about things like this, so I will share my thoughts.  Community, in my opinion is the relationships that we invest in.  According to the world, community is your town or village or neighborhood.  Spiritually speaking, it revolves around your relationships.  My good friend, Bren White, likes to say "It's all about relationship!"  That is what life is meant to encompass... relationship.  We are not meant to be alone.  We are not meant to be secluded.  We are meant for community, relationship, fellowship.

About three years ago I read a very interesting book entitled, The Community Life of God by Milt Rodriguez.  I enjoyed it a lot.  In it, Mr. Rodriguez spoke about our design for relationship/community.  He had some interesting points about how God feels about relationship.  I grew up with the thought that God sat on a cloud in heaven answering prayers and giving guidance alone.  I don't know why I thought that way exactly, but that is what was in my childhood mind.  With the help of Mr. Rodriguez I see how God, from before time, has been in constant community and relationship with the Son and the Spirit!  They are always working together.  They are always in fellowship.  They are always in communion.  That thought was profound for me.  It made me see Jesus in the garden and on the cross in a new light.  I always saw Christ as being alone in those places, but I'm sure He wasn't.  The cross may have been the first time that there was a separation of the three and that is why Jesus said, "Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?" (which means "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?") in Matthew chapter 27.

I think about those that I have been in close communion with.  I think about important conversations and times of prayer.  I think about the laughter and tears.  I think about confession and blessing.  Ask yourself (and I will ask myself too), "What do I look for in community?  What do I put into my community and relationships?"  Jesus put a lot into His community when He was in fellowship with the twelve.  He modeled fellowship, relationship and community throughout His ministry.  If we want to be like Jesus, I believe one ingredient is to dive into community and to discover how we might bless, encourage, love, share and fulfill.

Transitions

Life is full of change and transition.  Sometimes transitions are difficult when you are in the midst of them.  I am currently in the middle of such a transition.  After two and a half years of service with the Saturn Road church of Christ I am seeking out what God has planned next.  I didn't really plan to be in this position, but life has taught me that you really can't make plans and not expect that it is possible that God might have something else in mind. 

With God in charge the change and transition is easier.  I try each day to focus on His plan and care for me and my family.  I am confident that I have nothing to worry about as I search for a new ministry where I will be needed and wanted and where I can express my gifts in a way that bring the Father glory.

Trust is the main ingredient.  Each day I remind myself that I am made to worship and praise and trust in Him.  I hope and pray that as we go from where we are today to where we will be tomorrow we will be a light of hope to those who don't have any. 

This post is the first of this new blog.  I'm not sure what I hope to get out of this.  Maybe it will be a healthy outlet of expression and hope as I move forward and discover myself, my future and my God.  In any case, I'm glad you are here.